Which side are you?

He comes home one day. He was in a sweet rush with an excitement. He takes a shower and dresses up while his dad is setting the table up for two of them. He smiles to his son’s extiment and tells us that ’He is meeting the Mr. Right tonight’. Yes, I am talking about the 1994 movie that is adopted by a screenplay of  David Stevens, Sum Of Us.

First of all I must say that I really like the movie. It gives us a great visual of the relationship between a father and a gay son. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t the perfect son and father in the whole world. He gets mad when his father leaves the shower dripping and he couldn’t stand when he pushes his plate away after he finishes the dinner. But none of these could be as scathing as the words “You mean nothing to me. You walk out that door, it doesn’t matter. And if you come back in, I’m going to spit in your face. I don’t care if I’m on my deathbed, I’ll still have the energy to spit in your face.”  (Gaitskill, M. Tiny smiling daddy) Those are the words that has been said to a daughter after his father learned that she is a lesbian.

When we compare the movie(Sum of Us) with the story Tiny Smilin Daddy, we see that the situations are almost same but the reactions were totally different. These conflict also occurs in the movie when Jeff(the main gay charecter) introduces us Greg, the guy he likes. There is a clear difference between their parents. One acceptted his son being a gay and he even made an effort to get to know his ‘new son’. Although, my thoughts are in the same way with the father in the movie, I even surprised by some of his actions. He buys gay magazines and when he firt learn that he is a gay, he goes to the club with him just to see where his son hangs out. Lots of people wouldn’t be comfortable in such situations but when we compare the results with the story. It is obvious that Harry(father in the movie) is on the right track. He has an awesome relationship with his son which is enviable but on the other hand there is Kitty and her father, two strangers living in the same house. Jeff could bring his friend home to meet his father when Kitty prefers to write an article to his dad instead of talking.

The movie and the story are also both related the topic to the generations. We thought that Kitty has a bad father because his grandad was not a good one either. In the movie we know that Jeff’s grandma was a lesbian and they had a really close relationship when he was a kid. He once said that when he woke up and saw his grandma in the bed cuddled up with a woman it looked natural to him. This also can explain Harry being more tolerant on the situation because his own mother was a lesbian. He even makes a joke saying that ‘It is in their blood and just skipped a generation.’

 I just want to add one more thing about the movie. Harry wants the best of everything for Jeff and I think it was really interesting when he mentioned “He is missing something important:making a baby.”

For the ones that are interested, these two stories gives us a total different dimensions of a same situation. You can be on the side that will turn around and walk out the door the minute you heard it, or you can try to be a real father who wants to know his son and protects him all the time.Even though, this might mean to leave a loved one who sees Harry as a shame.

2 comments November 3, 2008